How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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