Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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