I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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