and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
cat food counts as protein by the way
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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