You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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