i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize