WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
