Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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