Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
