apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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