oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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