a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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