Umm I'm too high to move.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
