So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
