Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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