you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
