...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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