This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
