We're facebook friends in real life
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
