dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
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it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
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I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
PS: I just woke up from my shower
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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