She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
