So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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