i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
