careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
