This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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