You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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