I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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