No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
