We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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