He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
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i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize