I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
