Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
