does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
