Apparently you make a good broom.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
