Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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