fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
