yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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