I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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