Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
