OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
