I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
