Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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