i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
