zippers are such a cool invention
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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