What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
