I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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