We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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