He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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