So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize