I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
