I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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