I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
