I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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