You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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