so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
