i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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