Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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