I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
